When your spouse informs you that they've just filed for divorce, it can be a terrible shock, even if you've known the marriage wasn't going well. If they are sure that they want to end your union, you must respect their wishes and start planning your moves throughout the divorce and afterward: but how?
Get Into Therapy
Even if you think you handle feelings well, divorce is an exceedingly stressful time. If you're still shell-shocked that you're going through the situation or still have strong feelings about your spouse, a therapist is vital. They will listen to your thoughts and help you reframe various thoughts that you're having, in addition to suggesting tactics and techniques which will lower your high-stress levels. This can be incredibly beneficial because if you can remain calm, negotiations might be easier. After the divorce, they can keep treating you so that you're reading to open your heart again to others and your new life.
Plan Your Finances
Going from a two-income home to one where you've got to cover everything on your own is challenging, even if you lived alone before marriage. Your financial decisions and goals may need adjustment, and the sooner you're able to make changes, you can be more financially comfortable than you perhaps expected.
Hold Your Tongue
You might be furious or extremely upset at various times. However, it's imperative that you hold your tongue as much as you're able during this time. Eruptions of fury, tongue-lashings, and name-calling will only alienate your spouse. Even if you think they owe you the freedom to express yourself, realize that negotiations are likely to be hostile if you cannot control the way you're communicating. Make conscious, serious attempts to be civil each day.
As soon as you're notified of the divorce, start taking notes about your contributions to the marriage. Do you pay most or all of the household expenses? Are you the person who always calls out of work to tend to sick kids? Do you do the lion's share of the family chores? Recording all the things you do to keep the household going is vital information for your divorce. It allows divorce lawyers to seek fair settlements that commiserate with the effort you put into the marriage and could affect custody and asset issues.
Being served divorce papers isn't the end of your life, although it sometimes feels that way. With your lawyer's assistance, you can rebound and enjoy all of life again. Contact a lawyer like Tyler Lee Randolph, P.C for more information and assistance.